And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
