I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize