I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So here I am, sexting at work.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
