What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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