Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
