I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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