Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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