you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
