please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
