Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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