I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
