i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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