Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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