Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize