this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize