I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
