at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
