She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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