Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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