Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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