There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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