My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
