i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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