Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize