At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
