dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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