Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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