Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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