I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize