what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need to align my fucking chakras
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
