Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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