Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
