So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
