I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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