My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dignity is for republicans.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
