I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
