btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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