There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
