You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
