How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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