apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
