she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
