There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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