operation harelip BJ is a go
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
