I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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