You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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