so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
