I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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