The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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