So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize