do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
