You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
