just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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