The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
