Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
