What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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