That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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